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Author Topic: KAYLA'S WORLD....  (Read 634 times)

KAYLA

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KAYLA'S WORLD....
« on: April 17, 2012, 11:40:48 AM »

I LOVE LAUGHING & SO THIS IS MY SECTION......BE HONEST WITH A JOKE YOU DON'T LIKE & ALSO PUT UP SOME...HERE WE GO.....

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan? you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."
 
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
 
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
 
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?
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KAYLA

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Re: KAYLA'S WORLD....
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2012, 11:43:11 AM »

In early 90's, Arsenal had a player called Newton Dicks. One time he got injured in a match and Newspapers wrote, "Arsenal to play without Dicks". "This is crazy", the manager thought. In his fury he ordered the papers to rephrase the article's heading. So they wrote, "Arsenal to play with Dicks out".... There were more ladies in the Stadium during that "much awaited" match than any other!
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KAYLA

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Re: KAYLA'S WORLD....
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2012, 11:49:16 AM »

Interview with a fairly popular Chinese Doctor:

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
 A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
 

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
 
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
 
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
 A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
 
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
 
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets
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KAYLA

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Re: KAYLA'S WORLD....
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2012, 11:57:00 AM »

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said:
 You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation:

A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married.
 
"Later my father married my step daughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother in-law of her father-in-law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my
 half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.
 
"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. "This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my
 father's wife, I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm My own
 grandfather! And you think you have family problems!"

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KAYLA

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Re: KAYLA'S WORLD....
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2012, 11:03:39 AM »

honestly.....th ere is no use of viewing a post if you are not contributing or commenting....t his is boring me.
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